Fear and Hope (A poem about Mystery)

I thought that words could help me describe everything
But they are powerless to the beauty that you bring
And I find myself so lost
WIthout words to pay the cost

And I find that I do explode
When your image, I behold
Because there is nothing close to it
Not even rockets lit

And I feel so useless here
So overcome with fear
That I cannot even go
Up to you and my affection, show

For you stand right ahead
Before my mind with eyelids shed
And you spare not a single thought
For me and the feelings that I have wrought

And you know not that all these poems I write
Are about you, my shining light
And that you've taken hold of my mind
And my old self, I cannot find

For how many hours have you spent
In my heart without paying rent?
So many that I cannot count
In my heart, you're always around

And how long have I been in your heart?
I bet I never even played a part
The worst part of my day
Is knowing that is the safest thing to say

For what have I ever been to you?
Just a cloud in the blue
A shadow that you see and forget
A thought that into your mind, you do not let

What am I doing, mystery?
I should be talking to you, giving you glee
And yet I'm here, writing this poem about you
It's like I'm stuck to my seat with glue

Do you know how useless I feel
When with you, I cannot deal?
I hate that I write so much
And sit so far from your touch

I know that the problem is completely mine
I am the entire reason you are blind
I blame myself completely for this misfortune
And I blame myself for all this gloom

For you will never notice me
And my thoughts for you, you will never see
Because I have been so silent
Without a single letter sent

It's entirely my fault
And the pain on my heart is like salt
This damnation seems without relief
For our conversations if ever are very brief

I'm not even done being angry at myself
For the poems about you that sit upon my shelf
When will I get the nerve to walk the floor
And talk to you, hold you and more?

I have been wasting my time alone
With all my words and poems
It makes me look like a damn recluse
A man who to you has no use

And the pain I feel is self-caused
It hurts as much as any love lost
But do I enjoy this pain?
Because it fills every crevice of my brain

But with the heavy rain that falls
And floods DLSU and all its halls
I find hope shining like your eyes
Masked in fear's terrible disguise

And so with each day that flies
I hope that my courage will rise
And innervate my legs so lame
And shed all this useless shame

To spend the time that I ought to,
Being with and talking with you
One day, I will succeed
And my broken heart will cease to bleed.

23-26 July 2011

Sede Vacante: NOT a Poem about Mystery (sort of)

What eyes did I use to see
That we were ever meant to be?
So blind and confused was I
So sure yet so shy

How could I force myself to believe
That your love on me, you'd heave
I was so confused and blind
That I could not leave you behind

Like a beetle drawn to the light,
I thought I could stand and fight
But your ships and planes, they took me down
My heart sent crashing, without a sound

And how was I to know
That what I wanted, you did not show?
How was I so deceived,
My love unrequited, unreceived

You're a perfect person and for me, that's far too much
I prefer people with flaws, mistakes and such
Because when I look at you, I do not see a happy me
I see myself trapped in your shadow, never to be free

I cannot handle such defeat
I want a girl who I can treat
With simple joys from my heart, sincere
Who'd love me for me, as I am here

So empty now is the throne in my heart
That has been pierced by pins, arrows, and darts
The seat is vacant, waiting for a queen
Whose imperfections can actually be seen

For my kind of perfect is flawed like me
Not faultless and spotless as is she
My kind of perfect wouldn't break my back
My kind of perfect would be calm and slack

My kind of perfect would not make me feel
As worthless as a piece of rusted steel
My kind of perfect would make me feel at ease and at home
Not like a cube trying to fit into a dome

And so my spark was not a flame
And I find myself so much to blame
For jumping into a fire with which I could not deal
Leaving me with wounds that will take so long to heal

I guess that the hardest thing is to love an angel
There must be a reason why from heaven she fell
A reason that for now, I cannot tell
A reason that has dragged me to hell

And so I write out all my frustration
As I crawl in pain like a scared crustacean
With armor that will not dissolve
If around some girl my world does revolve

And though the pain I faced was harsh,
I have crawled out of this infernal march
To face the world and all it has
For always half-full is my glass

Mercy (A Poem About Mystery)

*So I was listening to the song by Duffy and I came up with this*

What you did to me when I fell
So deeply under your spell
You did so very well
That how you did it, I cannot tell

This game you don't even know you're playing
Has got my brain, heart and soul spinning
You've got me on your hook
You stole some heart like some crook

I doubt that you even read these poems
'Cause you're too busy memorizing frog bones
And you'll own me during the next exam
You'll say it was as easy as eating ham

I didn't know there were perfect people out there
Then I found you, your voice and your stare
I found your mind, your voice and your hum
I found your ribs, heart and sternum

Describing your looks would take me hundreds of pages
That I'd scribble throughout the ages
I know that love does come in stages
Like germs devoured by macrophages

But you're just like the golden snitch
I want to chase you, you lovely witch
You're even lovelier than Luna Lovegood
Even Occlumency, you understood

Because you are no book that I can read through
All of Ravenclaw wouldn't have a clue
How to charm your guardian Basilisk
What way to take and what to risk

For every rose does have its thorn
And yours before you was born
And I find my heart bleeds every time
When I get pricked by your tine

But one day, your walls will come down
And I will tread upon your ground
I would take you and hold your hand
And my feelings, you'd understand

And so I wait, so full of hope
Hanging on to my heart's rope
I will stand and play my part
Until you love me or break my heart.